Rich Dad Education Blog

Defining Positivity

Positivity at its core is not a feeling about the present as much as an attitude towards the future. It’s much easier to step with confidence when you know you’re heading to some place even better. If you aren’t feeling good about the strategies you’re utilizing towards your goals, step back and assess them with a few questions. Are you taking steps which are truly helping your career? Could you improve your education? But it’s also about taking on tasks that don’t just make you more money but improve your knowledge about a subject matter which will be in demand in the future. Furthermore, it comes down to aligning yourself with mentors who can lead you where you want to go. Though your job shouldn’t define your life, there’s little denying its place when many of us spend the majority of our waking hours focused on it.

Now that you’re coming up with a new plan for 9 to 5, it’s time to consider the rest of the ticks on the clock and whether your personal life is all it can be. Are you connecting as well as you can with your significant other, especially in a time when you need to pull closer than ever before? If you don’t have a significant other, then you need to take stock on whether you’ve done everything you can to get one(only if you want one, of course).

“You need to find a way to separate yourself from your problems,” says Shirley Babior, a co-author of Overcoming Panic, Anxiety & Phobias. “It’s important to remember that they’re usually only temporary. It’s about separating between what’s a real problem and what’s everyday life.” One way to accomplish this is by creating a case study in your head of previous moments that seemed to be unbearable but which ended up being easier than you thought. By reminding yourself that you’ve already handled something of a similar nature it will make it that much easier for you to do it this time around.

One important way to stay positive is to deal head-on with what’s bothering you. Often it’s a daunting task that just seems too difficult to accomplish. But by writing down each individual step it won’t seem nearly as bad. Also, remind yourself that not everything can be accomplished in a day, so that way you don’t overwhelm yourself, one of the easiest ways to get down about the world around you.

Most importantly list all the positive things in your life. Usually at the top are the people in your life. If you don’t have good people, consider making that more of a priority. Positive human contact has healing powers which have been documented time and time again. In addition, try to see your problems on a global scale. You remember the saying about the man without shoes who complained until he saw the man without feet? Odds are you probably have both, or if you have a job you’re already ahead of many who are suffering through these difficult times.

Another strategy is to remember a time when everything came together for you. Think about how you acted that created that great time. How did you feel? What was the environment around you? Maybe there’s even something you can do for yourself that can recreate that feeling. Maybe there was something you did that day that takes you back, maybe certain clothes you wore that made you feel good about yourself. Though we don’t recommend a thousand banana splits, it’s easy to find ways to recreate a great mood and put us back into one.

Being positive also means being goal oriented. Make two lists, one with short-term, attainable goals and the other with long-term goals. Write down ways you can fulfill these goals, but not just in terms of strategy but in how you’ll feel making strides toward these achievements. What negative thinking will you be able to avoid? What traps in the past will you fall into less this time and how? Remember, don’t expect perfection, just improvement. When you achieve one of your goals, acknowledge it by writing something positive about how you achieved it and how much better it makes you feel about your chances for achieving the next goal.

A final strategy which can help is to avoid dwelling. J.J. Redick, who was one of the best regarded college basketball players of recent years but has had his struggles as a pro, tries not to look behind him. “I try to focus on what I can do going forward,” he says. “It’s good to learn from mistakes you’ve made but then you have to move on and do better.”

But it’s not just about you. When we put the focus all on ourselves we can only feel good when things are going our way. Yet what if we volunteered our time once in a while? What if we helped a friend with a problem they were having? The more you become someone who helps others, the more you can define success through something other than your job or bank account.

Okay, Be Negative (Once in a While)

Although we’ve been giving you strategies to stay positive, sometimes it’s important to
go negative. “If you don’t get out your frustrations now and again they will build up to the point of meltdown,” says Babior. Find a pillow to take it out on or yell into the mirror—there are times where you just have to get it out before it gets you!

Having a positive attitude isn’t about being perfect, it’s about recognizing the difference between a bad mood and a generally bad outlook on life. Look at normal things which don’t go your way—from waiting in a long line to getting something other than what you ordered—does it bug you a little or does that one problem destroy the rest of your day? If it’s the latter, it’s time for a perspective change. Nobody has everything go their way, so learning to deal with disappointment is one of the most positive skills you can ever acquire.