Rich Dad Education Blog

Developing these traits is arguably more important in what some are convinced is becoming an increasingly isolated and unsocial world. For many, the interconnectedness that society once had has slowly deteriorated in recent decades. People simply don't interact the way they used to. This goes from social group activities to the automation that businesses and organizations offer. One can now get their gas, their groceries, and check out libraries books without having to talk to a single person. This can naturally inhibit one's interpersonal skills and can potentially hamper your ability to succeed in your area of interest.

While the following list is far from comprehensive, these simple traits, when followed, can dramatically improve how people perceive you. There are people that go through life living by the mantra of "I don't care what others think of me." While we should never let others' opinions unduly influence our actions, this type of attitude is usually simply an excuse to act selfishly. Do not be that type of person. Develop the interpersonal skills necessary to become someone that people like to be around. The rewards of developing these skills will manifest themselves both monetarily and in the quality of your life.

Be Genuine—We have all met people in our life that we thought were insincere. Outside of outright rudeness, perhaps nothing turns people off more than a person who appears fake and not sincere in their attempts to interact with others. In your attempts to improve your people skills, it is imperative to remember that you are not trying to be something you are not. Most people will be able to see right through you.

It helps if you genuinely like people. While not everyone is going to be your cup of tea, with a little effort you will be amazed at what you find in others and in yourself. Almost everyone has traits and aspects to them that are interesting, funny, and downright enjoyable. Look for these traits, bring them out in the other person and you will be far ahead of the game.

Never Manipulate—Lying, deception, and manipulation all tend to have short-term gains with long-term consequences. What you are trying to accomplish is to develop long-term business relationships. Any attempts at misleading or manipulating those you are attempting to do business with can destroy your reputation and make people unwilling to even entertain doing business with you again.

If the numbers make sense on a proposed real estate deal or if a business plan is well developed, then they will speak for themselves. If there are potential flaws, bring them to the investor's attention. Oftentimes you are selling your proposal and yourself at the same time. Don't let a good deal go south because you appear untrustworthy.

Develop Listening Skills—One thing that you can count on is that as a general rule people like the sound of their own voice more than yours. Peoples' stories and interests are more interesting to them than yours. Ideally, conversations are even-handed and there is a place for your interjection, jokes, and stories. Just be aware that you are not dominating the conversation, interrupting others mid-sentence, or changing topics if the person is genuinely interested in what they are saying.

These simple things may seem intuitive, but if you examine the conversations around you on a daily basis, you will find that these simple rules are oftentimes not followed. People are in a hurry to get to their point, to make the conversation about what they want to talk about, with little awareness of those that are participating in the conversation. It happens every day around water coolers and boardrooms across the country. During all conversations, when in doubt, listen.

Learn How to Respond to No—A lot of people with good interpersonal skills still have a hard time with this one. No one enjoys rejection, yet over the course of your lifetime many of the proposals, deals, and business plans you present will be rejected. Sometimes you won't be able to understand why as you thought the deal was great for both sides and may even be tempted to question the wisdom of the other person for passing on the opportunity. Naturally, don't vocalize this (no matter the temptation) and learn to walk away from the rejection gracefully. You should always be looking long term with all the relationships you develop. A graceful exit today may lead to a yes three months down the road.

The Intangibles—There are literally hundreds of areas a person could work on in developing their people skills. Here are a just a few of the many little things you can do in your development of relationships with others.

Birthdays—Few people are going to ever be upset that you remembered their birthday. A simple text, call, or card can go a long way in how others perceive you.
Names—Forgetting a person's name can be a major faux paus. Remembering a person's spouse and kids names can be a major plus.
Eye Contact—While this can be overdone, solid eye contact lets a person know you are interested in what they are saying. Wandering eyes can be aggravating and distracting.
Buy Lunch—When people are listening to your prospective deal or business proposal, this just makes sense. They are your guest and you should treat them as such.
Smile—No fake cheesy grins here, but who doesn't love a smile? This is one of the most underrated things in business. Most people enjoy working with happy people and are naturally drawn to them.
Avoid Cynicism and Negativity—If people are naturally drawn to smiles, then it makes sense that cynical and negative people push them away. Nobody likes the Eeyore of the crowd.

I know that when I implement the things mentioned in this article, my days are brighter and my overall happiness increases. Yes, there is a potential financial benefit to such behavior as I am more likely to get investor funding or close a deal. Even if there wasn't, it is worth every second of effort that goes into developing these personal development skills simply for the confidence boost you naturally get when people enjoy being around you.