Nonverbal Skills
There is a plethora of readily accessible information on effective communication, though a disproportionate amount of counsel is devoted to the honing of one’s verbal communication skills. This is quite unfortunate, since it is estimated that as much as 93 percent of communication is nonverbal in nature. If such statistics are to be believed, a meager seven percent of the message we present is comprised of our words, the remaining amount consisting of such things as eye movement, vocal tone, speed of speech, facial expressions, use of space, gestures, posture, inflection, eye contact, and body movement. To a business person who has predominately focused on verbal communication in his or her efforts to become more successful in their chosen field, this realization should be sobering. This is especially true because a person could have all the right words, and still fail miserably.
Last article discussed the importance of becoming conscious of one’s subconscious mannerisms and tendencies and the effect that they could have on one’s audience was discussed. Indeed, it takes much effort to overcome these tendencies, but it can be done. It is important to learn how to eliminate mannerisms that are counterproductive, refine those that are ambiguous, and adopt those that are beneficial and work to reinforce your verbal message.
However, doing so is only half of what it takes to become an expert at nonverbal communication. You must also learn how to interpret the nonverbal cues of your audience. If you devote your attention to learning this skill and are successful, you will have an unspeakable advantage when giving pitches, speeches, and presentations, or even when making conversation with a potential customer or associate. We have probably all wished at some time or another that we could take a peek inside someone’s head or magically hear their thoughts to be able to know what they were thinking. To some extent, when you became a master at observing and interpreting another’s nonverbal communication, you can do just that.
Any time you interact with people, they will have some reaction. Although the possibilities are endless, in the business world, a few of the most common reactions are interest, annoyance, confusion, impatience, disbelief, disagreement, uncertainty, and approval. It is very important to have some idea of how your audience is internally responding to your interaction in order to continually evaluate exactly how you are communicating and determine how to proceed. A wise and effective speaker knows how to use cues from an audience to adjust his or her presentation or side of the conversation throughout the length of his or her address. You can imagine how disastrous it could be for a speaker to misinterpret his audience’s attitude toward his presentation.
For example, suppose an entrepreneur is pitching a new business idea to a group of venture capitalists from whom he hopes to acquire funding. His audience is interested, but slightly confused. The speaker interprets their facial expressions and other body language as impatience and becomes flustered. He picks up the pace and literally zooms through his next four slides and rushes through his accompanying monologue, ending his presentation rather abruptly. Since his audience’s true mindset was confusion, his response—rushing—was the single worst thing he could have done. It is safe to say that his chances of receiving funding considerably decreased. This illustration represents quite a common scenario. Fortunately, it is one that you can learn to avoid by learning to read your audience.
The Mood: Interest
The Cues: Eyes are on you or your material (slides, handouts, etc.). Facial expressions may include furrowed brow, or raised eyebrows. If seated, the listener may be leaning forward, or sitting, as the saying goes, “on the edges of their seats.” He or she may touch or stroke their chin or jaw line. Their feet are pointed toward you, or foot, if legs are crossed. There is an absence of fidgeting or glancing around the room; in fact, a captive audience usually will not respond to distractions such as outside noises, a door behind them opening or closing, someone whispering or coughing, or a ringing phone.
Course of Action: Keep doing what you are doing. Maintain their interest by asking questions, or involving them in your speech: “The scenario I just described is quite a common one in our industry. You’ve been doing this a long time, Mr. Johnson. I am sure you have been in a situation just like that yourself at one time or another, am I right?” or “ [laughing and making eye contact] I think we all know that type of offer all too well, don’t we?” Use your body to illustrate your points. As an example, slump your shoulders ever so slightly as you talk about a problem in the industry, and then perk up and widen your eyes in excitement as you present your solution.
The Mood: Impatience
The Cues: Avoids eye contact with the speaker, and may glance often at the exit. Feet—or foot, if legs are crossed—are pointed toward the door. Audience may check their watches frequently, rapidly tap their pens on the table, or begin gathering up their belongings. More signs may include rapid nods with closed eyes, hurried “Mm-hmms” accompanied by hands waving to move on, closing or folding closed any handouts you have given, and sighs while they sit perched on the edge of their seat as if ready to jump up and briskly walk out of the room the instant you finish up. They are unlikely to ask questions during or at the end of your presentation, as they do not want to give you any more of their time by asking to you respond to a question.
Course of Action: Never call someone out by making it obvious that you have noticed their restlessness and impatience. If you are in a face-to-face sales or similar situation, hand the person your card and tell them you would love to discuss the subject in more depth at a time more convenient for them and ask permission to contact his or her office. If you are giving a presentation, finish up your immediate point, and then start your launch into your next point with a phrase such as, “Picking up the pace a little bit here…” and then continue on, slightly abridging your message to include only the most pertinent of information. At the end of your presentation, say something like, “I know how valuable your time is, Ms. Maxwell, and I thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to meet with you. That concludes my presentation. I am happy to answer any question that you might have, either now or at any point in the future.” Make sure to give your listener your card again.
The Mood: Confusion
The Cues: Head may be tilted, eyes may be squinting, and the listener may actually be scratching his or her head.
The Course of Action: Again, you do not want to point out that you have noticed your listener’s confusion. Slow the pace, and finish up what you are saying, and then say, “Before I move on, I generally like to ask my audience if there is anything I can clarify for them or if there is anything they would like me to discuss further, since this particular concept is very complex and often needs to be explained further or described in a different way. Does anyone have any questions?” If the situation is such that you are afraid your audience might be insulted by the previous course of action, try some slight tweaking: “Before I move on, I generally like to ask my audience if there is anything they would like me to discuss further, since this particular concept is quite interesting and people often would like to delve a little bit deeper. Does anyone have anything they would like me to address in more detail?” Be sure to not act put out or patronizing if your audience does want you to clarify something.
The Mood: Uncertainty, Evaluation
The Cues: Scratching the back of the neck, biting lip, tilted head. May place finger or fingers over chin and mouth or look at the ceiling while trying to make a decision. Some experts state that clasping both hands together and interweaving one’s fingers and then resting one’s chin on knuckles is a sign of contemplation or evaluation. A variation on this gesture would be clasping hands and “steepling,” or raising and touching the tips of, the index fingers and bringing them up to the chin. Occasionally, a listener will cross his or her arms as he or she evaluates your proposal, usually while still focusing their eyes on you.
The Course of Action: Continue on, putting your best foot forward and really driving home the point. At the end of your speech, ask if they have any questions and answer them as thoroughly as you can. If appropriate for the situation, you may say, “You seem to have some reservations. I would love to address any concerns you have.” There comes a point though, where you must stop talking. At the point at which you are both silent, do not be the one to speak first.
The Mood: Disbelief
The Cues: Eyebrows raised and knit together with eyes widened or squinting. Mouth open or showing traces of a smirk. Eyes on you with face turned slightly away.
Your Course of Action: Don’t feel threatened. Look at their disbelief as an exciting challenge to overcome. Lead into your sentences by saying things like, “Many, many people initially find it difficult to believe that we are able to offer such results, but as you can see…” Offer the evidence. Show the charts. Win them over with proof and subtle persuasion.
The Mood: Defensiveness & Discomfort
The Cues: Closed body language, such as crossed arms and legs, chin tucked down into chest, and no eye contact. The whole body tenses up and hardens. Your listener may move further away from you, or if sitting across a table from you, may place something between the two of you as a barrier, such as a pen, or tablet of paper. If the conversation is taking place while standing, he or she may clutch his or her purse or briefcase in front of their body, as a sort of shield.
Your Course of Action: Immediately back up and give your listeners some space. Resist the natural tendency as a human being to mirror his or her closed off body language, instead making a conscious effort to appear as open and relaxed as possible, thereby setting him or her at ease. Choose your words carefully, and if you can pinpoint an earlier statement that may have put them on the defensive, try to subtly amend that statement when appropriate. “And while we are discussing lawyers, I would like to amend my earlier statement concerning their profession. It was poorly phrased and did not communicate my true feelings. Attorneys offer an invaluable service to society in general, and to members of our profession in particular. There is no mistake about that. What I am proposing does not negate that in any way, and is another tool…”
The Mood: Disagreement
The Cues: Person may show obvious signs of disagreement, such as shaking head, looking away, smirking, fidgeting (especially with fingers or fingernails), looking around at others in the room and sharing glances or expressions, rolling eyes, raising one eyebrow, and sometimes clearing throat. Conversely, a more polite listener may have a blank stare and a totally expressionless face, or a forced smile that does not warm or soften the eyes, indicating that they strongly disagree with what you are saying but have no desire to challenge you or contradict you and will hear you out.
Your Course of Action: As tempting as it will be to bristle up and puff out your chest and cop an attitude right back, keep your cool. If you respond in kind, they will only dig their heels in further. Instead, remain courteous and appear oblivious to their attitude toward you. Spend extra time on the evidence, such as slides that give information that validates your assertion. If you have any compelling evidence say something like, “Now bear with me and try to keep an open mind for the information I am about to present,” and then launch into it. Also mention credentials or anything else that gives you credibility. “These calculations and projections were put together by our consultant, formerly head of the department of [blank].”
Obviously, every situation is different. And as you can see above, some cues can mean vastly different things in different contexts. For this reason, cues should always be interpreted in conjunction with other cues, not on their own. Do not allow yourself to become frazzled, frantically searching a person’s countenance for clues and over-analyzing every single gesture. Definitely, you should be aware of the information given above, but we are all hardwired for nonverbal communication, meaning that you should trust your gut instincts when you have a hunch what someone’s body language means.