By Kim Kiyosaki
Years ago I attended a seminar and the speaker on stage, a man, said to the audience, "I bet I can tell you the goal of every person in this room." I thought to myself, "How in the world would he know what each of our goals are?"
Then he stated, "Everyone in this room has one primary goal: to be happy."
I had to agree, my number one goal was to be happy—but it's the definition of happy that will be different for each person.
Years ago I attended a seminar and the speaker on stage, a man, said to the audience, "I bet I can tell you the goal of every person in this room." I thought to myself, "How in the world would he know what each of our goals are?"
Then he stated, "Everyone in this room has one primary goal: to be happy."
I had to agree, my number one goal was to be happy—but it's the definition of happy that will be different for each person.
So I asked myself, 'What does it mean to me to be happy?' I went through a checklist: Have a successful business, be in a great marriage, have lots of money and all the good things that money brings, a wonderful network of friends and family, a cat, world travel, great health, a sense of purpose in life, and on and on and on. I wanted all that…and then I'd be happy.
So I began to work towards all those things. In 1994 Robert and I "retired." We were not rich by most people's definition; we simply had more money coming in every month from our investments (primarily real estate) than was going out each month in living expenses. In other words we no longer had to work for money. We were free!
And after a few months of retirement and vacation we had to face the harsh reality that we were bored. Bored to tears. One morning we were sitting outside with a cup of coffee and we looked at each other and asked, "Now what?" We had all of the things on my checklist, so did that mean that we were done? Now Robert and I were supposed to be happy for the rest of our lives? Is that the formula? Obviously it wasn't.
Everything we had, and have today, brings us contentment and a sense of satisfaction, but I discovered early on that happiness, to me, is not an end goal. You don't wake up one morning and say, "Aha! I've made it! I'm happy! And I will be happy from here on." It's no different then working out at the gym. I would love to get to the point where I can say, "I've reached my workout goal! I am in shape. Hooray! I've made it–and I don't have to work out any more." That's not how it works.
What is happiness?
So what the heck is happiness? For me, happiness is something that is available to every person today. I know I'm happiest and most elated when I'm growing as an individual. When I'm learning something new and applying it. When I'm taking on something I not sure I can do–and I do it. That, to me, is individual happiness. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm better today than I was yesterday.
As I see it, you have the choice of two directions: You are either growing or you are declining. A person does not stand still. You are either getting better–improving your health, your wealth, your relationships, etc.–or you're getting worse. Nothing stays static.
So what I know is this: I want to be happy. Happiness is an on-going process, just as building a business is a process or investing is a process. These are actually two of my outlets for happiness. In my business and with my investments is where I get to experiment. I test strategies, make mistakes and learn from them. The more I learn and grow, the more success I have. And the more I learn and grow the happier I am. So from this point of view, success and happiness go hand in hand. It's not the success that makes me happy, it's what I learn getting to the success that brings me happiness.
The key to success and happiness
How many books, articles and talk shows communicate the endless keys to success? Hundreds? Thousands? Maybe more. I only want to share one with you. This comes from my personal experience. It is the one key that I truly feel is most important for anyone seeking any level of success and happiness in her (or his) life.
The key is very simply this: Surround yourself with supportive people.
Said another way… Get rid of the negative people in your life.
Supportive people are those who encourage you to go for your goals and dreams. People who want you to win… and tell you why you will succeed and offer their guidance and support.
Negative people (and we all know who they are!) are the ones who will tell you all the reasons why you can't do something. They'll tell you, "It'll never work." "Don't be ridiculous!" "What makes you think you could pull that off?" "Don't take a risk, you might lose."
Negative people pull you down and usually result in unhealthy relationships. Supportive and positive people build you up.
I made the decision years ago to get rid of the negative people in my life. The price was too high and it was too tough to be polite and keep them around me. Negative people kill creativity. They squash your dreams. They keep you doubting yourself. They drain your energy and waste your time. Negative people keep you small.
I seldom give advice, but I will adamantly state here that if you have negative, even toxic, people in your personal or professional life, walk away from them. It's not always an easy thing to do. It wasn't for me. But realizing and enjoying that fact that these people no longer have any influence on me, I wish I had made the decision many years earlier.
See for yourself
Here a quick exercise: Write down the six people who you spend the most time with.
These may be friends, co-workers, or family members. The six people you hang out with most. Once you've got their names on paper, look at each one and ask yourself, "Do I feel supported and encouraged by this person, or do I feel resentment, jealousy and negativity from them?" You'll know instantly.
Stretching yourself and going for your goals and your dreams is tough enough without negative, limiting baggage. Your success will be much grander (and easier–and more fun) when the people surrounding you are on your side. In the book, TRUMP–The Best Real Estate Advice I Ever Received , many experts share their top gem of experience. Lester Crown, chairman of Henry Crown and Company, an investment firm, said it this way, "You can't make a good deal with a bad partner." I read two points into that statement.
1) No matter how good the deal–be it business, investing or personal–if you have a partner who is unsupportive, negative or with his or her own agenda, the good deal will become a bad deal. Period.
2) In order to attract a good partner, you have to be a good partner. So don't just look at those around you, look at yourself as well. And ask yourself, what kind of a partner am I? What kind of a partner do I want to be?
The most important action I took towards my own increased success and happiness was cleanly severing ties with the negative and pessimistic people in my business and personal life. And, in doing so, I began regularly checking in on myself and asking, "Am I the kind of person and partner that I want surrounding me in my life?" That one step changed everything in my life for the better.
Investor, entrepreneur and author of Rich Woman, Kim Kiyosaki educates women about money and investing through books, speaking engagements, a PBS TV show and RichWoman.com. Kim and her husband Robert created the CASHFLOW® board games and own The Rich Dad Company.
©2007 The Rich Dad Company, used with permission